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2016: The Year the Left Broke

Posted 12/30/2016 12:58 pm by

If 2015 was the year of the tranny, 2016 was the year of the cuck. Comedy became a venue for social justice whiners and sex became rape. While castigating white men for letting Trump happen, blacks rioted in the streets based on Facebook memes and Muslims murdered Americans in the name of Islam. It was a topsy-turvy year of hate-crime hoaxes where white people could do no good and brown people could do no wrong. Ultimately, Obama’s last year will go down as the year alt-left fanaticism led to the death of the left. It also begat Trump.

 

JANUARY

 

We started the year with Gary Nathaniel Moore awaiting trial for burning a mosque. They assumed it was yet another anti-Muslim hate crime, with both CNN and NBC parroting CAIR’s assessment that the arson reflected a “recent spike in hate incidents targeting mosques nationwide.” When we learned Gary was a black Muslim who attended the mosque, the MSM quickly shifted their attention to some white dude who put strips of bacon on a Muslim doorknob. January was also the month we saw LaVoy Finicum shot dead by federal agents. This would be a great martyr opportunity for anarchists were LaVoy not cursed with the unbearable whiteness of being. Sure, the government was imprisoning ranchers such as Dwight Hammond and his son Steven for crimes as ridiculous as starting helpful brush fires, and sure, the Bundys were brave enough (and armed enough) to force the government to stand down, but they all look like country singers so, no cool T-shirts for you!

 

FEBRUARY

 

The obsession with all things brown brought 16-year-old Marlin Stivani Nivarlain to Northern Iraq where she served ISIS as a piece of human garbage until being rescued by Kurdish special forces. She was shocked to discover it’s a “really hard life” over there.

 

MARCH

 

A 1.5% Indian girl was wrenched from her family and brought to another white family who might be a fraction of a percent more Indian. Six-year-old Lexi Page was a victim of the Indian Child Welfare Act, which purports to be about Indian reunification but is really about white guilt and revenge. The Supreme Court is currently pondering their next move, but it’s not looking good and in all honesty, the damage has been done.

 

APRIL

This was the month everyone told us they were going to move to Canada if Trump won. None of them did.

 

MAY

 

Things appeared to be dying down as we approached the spring. The only story that sticks out during this time for me was when food blogger Nick Solares was suspended from his job at Eater.com for possibly being in a band that may have been racist a quarter century ago. I remember his band Youth Defense League from the ’80s. They were right-wing but Nazi skinheads hated them for refusing to embrace racism.

 

JUNE
Brexit happened, which is British for “Trump is going to win.”

 

JULY
This was the summer of Leslie Jones. The remarkably unattractive black woman who was hired at SNL because someone dared to blaspheme black women had her feelings hurt on Twitter when someone pretended to be her. The person responsible was possibly a fan of Milo Yiannopoulos’ so Twitter reacted by banning Milo. Soon after, Jones was rewarded with a trip to the Olympics where she delivered pithy gems such as “Slay all day” and “There is a country called Georgia.”

 



Oh yeah, five cops were shot and killed in Dallas by a member of the New Black Panthers. Beyoncé likes to dress up like one and dance around during football games but that’s a black issue so get over it.

 

AUGUST

 
The end of summer brought one of my favorite stories of the year when a waitress with green hair and tons of stupid tattoos got to pretend she was Rosa Parks. Apparently, some customers at Red Robin didn’t appreciate their server’s punk rock look (which was originally designed to ostracize) and so they said as much. The reaction was peak victimhood with a “flood of support” that included other servers wearing green wigs and applying temporary tattoos.

 

SEPTEMBER
Keith Scott was shot by police after refusing to cooperate. He was armed but the story became all about him being assassinated by police while reading a book because he’s black. Without so much as a quick Google, this meme became a massive riot that left black male Justin Carr dead after he was shot in the head by another black protester. His mother said he “died for a cause.” She’s retarded.

 

Over one weekend in September, we had almost a dozen bombs planted in NYC by Muslim Dahir Adan and a mass stabbing in Minnesota by Muslim Khan Rahami. The press took it easy on them, as the lone wolves were likely just following orders.

 

While this was going on, the war on nonliberal professors was ramped up. University of Toronto’s Jordan Peterson was attacked by his own administration and students for refusing to kowtow to this ridiculous notion that you need to ask someone what pronoun to call them. The University of Ottawa’s Janice Fiamengo has also been swallowed up by this PC fascism and is currently going through some kind of Orwellian review involving a bunch of stupid committees who will fine her if they deem her work offensive. One of the strangest cases in this crusade to make universities completely Marxist is NYU’s Michael Rectenwald. Though he is liberal, he dared to mock safe spaces and trigger warnings and was summarily fired. However, after Trump won, the “deplorable” professor was rehired, promoted, and given a raise. It’s a heartening story, but 2016 is still the year we had a professor say, “All I want for Christmas is white genocide.”

 

OCTOBER
The election consumed this month and it was particularly fun because the left was totally convinced they were going to win. They still did promotions and sang songs, but they were victory songs. Hillary even bought fireworks. Those of us who knew Trump was going to win braced ourselves for the temper tantrums.

 

NOVEMBER
After Trump won, the world lost they gawdamned minds. Many of us were naive enough to think it would go like the World Series where you accept your team didn’t make it and get on with your life. Trump’s victory led to all kinds of denial including millions of people convinced they could overturn the Electoral College. When it didn’t happen, protesters in Portland took to the streets screaming about how much trans people need a voice. To this day, Michael Moore is convinced “we” can win this thing. He’s no doubt crestfallen that his brilliant speech about Trump voters helped get him elected.

 

 

The general consensus now is that Russia hijacked the election by releasing embarrassing emails. The fact that the emails are true doesn’t seem to matter. As far as I’m concerned, the emails were only a tiny fraction of why she lost. Benghazi, her corrupt foundation, her uranium dealings, her curious body count, her relentless lying, and her lack of likability are all up there, but the main reason she didn’t win is because they ran a terrible candidate!

 

The meltdowns on election night were a joy to see. The Young Turks implosion is a keeper and the celebrity meltdowns were even better. My favorite is “titless boar” Lena Dunham calling Paul Ryan and getting mad at his answering machine, followed by Saving Private Ryan’s Adam Goldberg doing the same thing and describing himself as “the Jewish soldier [who] gets stabbed to death by a Nazi.”

Kanye West was hospitalized shortly after admitting he would have voted for Trump if he voted. After an entire career of saying crazy things, this was what got him institutionalized.

 

There was also a solid ramping-up of the type of hate crimes we saw at the beginning of 2016. In one week Bowling Green State University had two. A man claimed racists shoved him to the ground and hurled racial slurs at him, which was a lie, and a few days later a black woman claimed Trump supporters threw rocks at her. In Louisiana, a woman claimed Trump supporters stole her hijab and her wallet, which was a lie, and the NYPD recently charged Yasmin Seweid for lying about Trump supporters stealing her hijab before she vanished for a week. This was also the month we heard about a Muslim student at the University of Michigan who claimed men said they would burn her if she didn’t take it off. She was lying.

 

For every hoax about a Trump supporter attacking someone, there were several examples of Trump supporters being attacked. In June, roving mobs attacked several Trump supporters simply for wearing MAGA hats. We saw more of this behavior in September when a kid in El Cajon, Calif., was attacked by a mob. These victims don’t usually have parades in their honor and a lot of press coverage. They just clean off the blood and get back to work.

 

I was disgusted to see Jesse Hughes be refused admission to the Bataclan for their year anniversary of the attack where ninety of his fans were killed. He’s been in trouble since the attack because he implied that some of the staff were in on it during an interview I did with him. Rock en Seine canceled the band’s appearance at their festival and I saw a mural in Los Angeles the band was painted out of. When we learned that 82 members of Paris’ soccer stadium’s security were on the terror watch list, nobody apologized to Jesse. Few noticed. When we discovered the government had hidden many horrific details of the massacre including pregnant women being disemboweled and men having their genitalia cut off and fed to them, even fewer were outraged. He criticized Muslims after they tried to murder him so he must pay.

 

Some of the worst swastikas ever created were spray-painted on a park in Brooklyn with the words “Go Trump.” It’s clearly either a prank or the work of a 13-year-old, but that didn’t stop everyone from Muslim clerics to rabbis to the remaining Beastie Boys from congregating there and committing to wipe out hate.

 

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